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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549052">Shedding</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyoftheWoods/pseuds/LadyoftheWoods'>LadyoftheWoods</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Fear of Death, Fluff and Angst, Head Injury, Hurt Deceit | Janus Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sick Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sickfic, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, comission</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:55:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,798</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549052</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyoftheWoods/pseuds/LadyoftheWoods</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janus has a shed. Remus tries to help. Things don't go well.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shedding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelmonsoon/gifts">parallelmonsoon</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My first ever commission! <br/>Parallelmonsoon wanted some Janus hurt/comfort and shedding so here we are! If you're interested in a comission, feel free to hit me up. I'm 98prilla over on Tumblr.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’d known it was coming. </p><p>He could always tell, of course, though it wasn’t on a clockwork schedule. He wished it was, wished it was predictable, wished he would get more than waking up with a pounding head and a scratchy throat as a warning about what was to come. </p><p>Knowing didn’t make it any easier to deal with, of course, as he groaned and forced himself up out of bed. He already felt tired, felt like moving wasn’t worth the effort, but he had to get up. </p><p>He had to force himself to eat something even though nothing would taste right, every texture would make him want to rip his tongue out, every flavor would overwhelm him, even dry toast was pushing it. But past today he wouldn’t be able to stomach anything, and he had to eat something before it started in earnest, or he’d regret it later. </p><p>He’d let himself collapse into bed later, wallow in his misery and exhaustion and discomfort later. For now, he slogged his way to the door and pulled it open, forsaking his hat, because even putting it on his head was more effort than he wanted to put in to something, though he did grab his cane. </p><p>Usually it was more of an aesthetic choice, but it did come in handy on days like this one. His vision was still fine, he wouldn’t be leaving his room if it wasn’t, but he was prone to fits of dizziness, of vertigo, and as much as he hated actually using the cane for its intended purpose, it had saved him more times than he was willing to admit, from faceplanting into the floor. </p><p>Especially if the shed had started in earnest, and for some godforsaken reason he had to leave his room.  </p><p>“JANNIE!” He hissed, flinching at the volume, the pounding in his skull increasing, the bright light of the kitchen bothering his eyes already, and he squeezed them shut, taking a deep breath in and out as he leaned heavily on his cane, trying to recenter himself, get his bearings back. </p><p>“JanJan. Is it your time of the month?” Remus asked, making him crack a smile despite himself, peeking his eyes back open to find the lights had been dimmed considerably. </p><p>“We both know I would have murdered myself if this were a monthly occurrence.” He answered, voice a bit rough. Remus nodded, gently taking his arms and guiding him into his usual spot in the plush armchair. </p><p>“I’ll go get you something to eat.” </p><p>“Remus…” He protested weakly. </p><p>“Don’t worry, Jannie, even I can’t mess up plain toast.” </p><p>“You say that, and yet the toaster graveyard would beg to differ.” He muttered in reply. </p><p>“Ah yes. RIP Susie, Hanford, and Stanley.” He snorted again as Remus saluted, shooting him a grin that did not fill him with confidence before vanishing into the kitchen. </p><p>Still, he knew when it really came to it, he could count on Remus. He’d deliver him some plain toast, after starting a fire or two, and make himself some insane concoction of whatever ingredients (and other typically inedibles) he could scrounge up to sate his need for chaos. </p><p>He let his head thump back against the chair, and his mind drift, cataloguing the aches already setting in. Usually it wasn’t this bad, already. Usually he had two days of irritableness, of slight tiredness, then the third day the true exhaustion and head pounding would kick in, and the fourth he would start actually shedding. Then he’d have two days of that delightful event, where he could barely move, and barely see and barely even function, desperately itchy and suffocating in his own skin as he tried to rip it all off, then he’d sleep for a solid twenty-four hours and be back to normal. </p><p>Maybe it was good that it was moving a bit faster than normal. Get it over with quicker, at least. Maybe he could avoid being summoned, for the next few days. Get Remus to cover for him, if he was needed. </p><p>That was a complication he hadn’t considered, when revealing himself to Thomas. What would happen if his host decided to finally actually ask for his presence, and he was mid shed? </p><p>Because none of them, none of the light sides, knew. Well, Virgil knew, but he had yet to share the information with the others, and he was desperately hoping that trend would continue. He hadn’t done anything lately to especially aggravate Virgil, so hopefully he wouldn’t feel the need to retaliate. </p><p>They could never know. None of them, especially not Thomas himself. He was able to ignore his fear of being shut out completely, of being totally silenced, most of the time, but the thoughts always crept in loud and proud near a shed. </p><p>He would be weak. Unable to fight, unable to defend himself, and if they discovered him in that state, they could do whatever they wanted to him. They could lock him up somewhere he’d never be able to escape, they could muzzle him so he’d never be able to speak up again, they could destroy him completely, and he would be unable to lift a finger to stop them. </p><p>“JanJan?” He blinked at Remus’s voice, softer than usual, realizing he’d started to drift off. He smiled weakly as he took the plate of two slices of plain toast, raising an eyebrow when he realized he’d been drifting for nearly an hour. Still, nothing seemed to be on fire (now, at least) so he didn’t ask. Just bit into the toast and grimaced, hating the crunch of it, the crumbs, everything. He managed both pieces, shoving the plate away with vindictive victory.  </p><p>“Thank you, Remus.” He said, wincing at the tenderness of his throat, blinking in surprise as a mug was shoved into his hands. It was warm, pleasantly so, the steam soothing him somewhat. </p><p>“it’s mint. Well, it’s mostly hot water, with the teensy tiniest bit of mint.” Hesitantly, he took a sip, knowing how most flavors would overwhelm him, but it was perfect. The miniscule amount of mint was just enough for him to taste it, but didn’t overpower everything, and it soothed him further, as he sunk back into the chair. </p><p>“It’s perfect.” He murmured, taking another sip, smiling at Remus’s vibrant joy at doing something good, the little full body wiggle he did when he was overwhelmed with it. He didn’t get enough praise for his work, but he always did try his best. He was a very good friend, loyal and caring to a fault, and he hated that the others didn’t seem to really see Remus. Not the soft, kind parts that he got to see.  </p><p>“are you ok, Jannie?” Remus asked, voice soft and serious, as it rarely was. </p><p>The true answer was no. No, of course he wasn’t. He was scared, he was afraid, he always was when his shed happened, and he hated that fear almost as much as the actual process. And he felt off, this time. Felt a strange sense of wrongness, perhaps at how fast it was coming on, he had the slight beginnings of apprehension that something, something wasn’t right this time. </p><p>But instead he simply nodded, putting all of his focus and strength into standing and not toppling right over, taking a deep breath and resting heavily on his cane, smiling despite the pain radiating out from his chest, the odd tightness there, hiding everything he was feeling underneath his well-practiced façade. </p><p>“Perfectly.” He answered, forcing his posture straight, barely leaning on his cane as he made his way back down the hall, feeling Remus’s eyes burning into the back of his neck. He didn’t falter, steps even and steady, flashing Remus a smile before he closed the door behind him and instantly crumpled to the floor, having used the last of his strength to make it there. <br/>…<br/>He didn’t know how much time had passed before he came too again. He didn’t think it was too long, otherwise Remus would have found him, a pathetic pile in front of his door, he made a habit to check on him every once in a while, just in case. Of course, Remus’s idea of time was rather fluid, so he’d either be in every hour, or not for a full day and a half.</p><p>Good, he didn’t want to worry Remus more. </p><p>Perhaps he should be worried, though. Because he felt so tired. So bone deep, achingly tired, in a way he never had before. Everything hurt. His chest was tight, and he coughed into his fist, muffling the sound, though they quickly turned into hacking breaths that shook his entire frame and brought tears to his eyes from the force of them. </p><p>He shivered, curling in on himself with wheezing breaths as he struggled to get his breathing back under control, still feeling like there was a rock plugging his airway. </p><p>Bed. He had to at least make it to his bed. It was warm and soft and nice there, and if he could make it to his bed, he could just let himself embrace oblivion and pretend he didn’t exist. </p><p>He tried to stand, but even putting weight on his arms to lift himself was too much, and he ended up half crawling, half dragging himself, to the edge of his bed, looking up in despair. It was so high above him. Maybe… maybe he’d just stay on the floor. </p><p>He reached up, and pulled the blankets down, managing to snag a pillow as well, before curling up in his makeshift nest, passing out almost instantly. <br/>…<br/>Cold. </p><p>He was so cold. </p><p>He shivered, curling tighter into his ball on the floor, trying to find enough warmth from his blankets, shaking miserably with the chills. </p><p>His skin felt weird. The strange papery feeling, the elastic stretch of skin over skin, a sure sign his shed was imminent. That wasn’t right. It had yet to be a full day, since he first felt the achiness, it was too fast, it was wrong, this was wrong, he didn’t know why, but it was, and it hurt. </p><p>He could still see, at least. Not well, everything was blurred, light was filtering in strangely, but in an environment as familiar as his room, it was enough to make his way around. </p><p>A soak. </p><p>A soak would warm him up, help soothe the ache that was his entire body, cease the small spasms wracking his muscles, it would help with the shed, help loosen it, help get it off, hopefully that would fix whatever this was, whatever was making him this sick. </p><p>It itched, and stretched, and it made him feel like his head was inside a plastic bag, like he was suffocating in his own body, and he hated the feel of it, the pull and tug where it shifted as he moved making him whine pathetically. He needed it off, needed it off, now! He pulled at it, and instantly flinched, it was still stuck tight, it hurt, everything hurt, and it would hurt more by the time he made it to the tub. For a moment he debated whether moving was worth it or not, before deciding it had to be. If it made this stop, it had to be worth it.</p><p>Of course, getting to the bathroom was a separate challenge entirely. His head pounded with every movement, the room spinning around him, until he wasn’t even sure he was heading in the right direction anymore, and it made his stomach churn. Even when he closed his eyes, it felt as if everything in the world was spinning around him, as if the floor had dropped out from under him and he was simply falling forever. </p><p>He hissed in a breath from between clenched teeth, dragging himself inch by inch across the floor, stopping every few inches to cough, occasionally blacking out from the effort and exhaustion, and every pull forwards felt like his arms were being pulled out of their sockets, his throat constricting until he was forced to stop and gasp in air, wondering if this was what a panic attack felt like. </p><p>Eventually, he managed to breath again, though his throat felt torn to shreds and his chest was on fire, his lungs screaming at him to stop. He moved on auto pilot, nearly sobbing in relief as he made it to the tub. </p><p>He had enough strength and presence of mind to simply snap himself out of his clothing, though the power it required sent him reeling once more, speckles playing across his already compromised vision. </p><p>Of course, then he had to get into the tub, which required standing, which was a whole new challenge. He took a deep breath, though it felt like something was strangling him. He leaned against the wall, forcing himself to his knees, then to his feet, vision blacking out for a couple seconds as his head rushed. </p><p>One step. One little step and he’d be in the tub and he could just relax and pretend this wasn’t happening. One little step. He could do this. He could do it.</p><p>He lifted his foot. And lost his balance. </p><p>He went toppling over, unable to catch himself, his reaction time too slow to do anything other than watch himself fall towards the faucet, stars exploding behind his eyes as his head hit the faucet. He could feel something hot and wet dripping down his face, before he fell back, into the tub, the back of his head hitting the rim, and everything stopped.<br/>…<br/>“Jannie! Janus, please, wake up, please, JANUS!” He sputtered awake like an old car trying to start at the plea, half choking on air, as he inhaled sharply, pain pounding against his temples, through his entire skull. He tried to open his eyes, but the world was nothing more than a dim blur, he couldn’t even see the movement of light and shadows anymore, everything was nearly completely dark. His face felt sticky, and he tasted iron, smelled copper, the sensations sending a juddering chill through him.</p><p>He shivered, curling closer into the person’s arms, their heat intoxicating, he was cold, so terribly cold, his teeth were chattering. He felt them snap, and gasped, suddenly clothed in soft, fluffy pajamas that soothed the very worst of the chills, though not nearly all of them. </p><p>“Jannie? Can you hear me?” Remus. That was the voice, the person, it was Remus. He must have come to check on him and found him… </p><p>Where was he? He couldn’t remember, what he’d been doing. His mind felt clouded and thick, he could barely push past the fog to nod, realizing Remus had asked him a question. He heard another soft sob in response, Remus nuzzling against him for a moment. </p><p>“ok. Ok, that’s good. Imma take care of you, alright? Imma get you all fixed up.” He nodded weakly once more, unable to bite back the whimper that escaped as Remus shifted him in his arms, lolling limply against his chest, without even the strength to support his own head. </p><p>“shh, it’s ok, Jan. Let’s get you settled. You’ve done a number on yourself, your face is a mess.” Remus murmured. He felt himself be set down on his bed, Remus coming back a moment later. He hissed as he wiped at his face, it was rough and hard and it hurt. He tried to wriggle away, but Remus was pressing him down, too focused to realize he was hurting him, that he couldn’t get away, until he managed to barely summon the effort for words. </p><p>“sssstop… pl…ease… ree…” he managed, whimpering, Remus instantly drawing back as if burned, cursing.</p><p>“Ok. I’m sorry, shit, I’m sorry. I’ll…how about I’ll try working on some of those scales?” Remus asked, and he couldn’t find the words to say no, leave it, don’t. The skin felt a bit stretchier, now, but it was still too stuck, it still wasn’t ready. He knew it, he just couldn’t find the words to warn Remus, to make him stop, as he felt him trying to peel it away. He gasped as Remus pulled, hard, feeling him tear his skin, not just his scales, but the new, soft skin underneath it. </p><p>His hands curled into fists against the fabric as Remus tried again, bright patches of pain flaring from the small of his back, tears pricking at his eyes. Remus tried once more, ripping.</p><p>It was too much.</p><p>He shot up with the speed and fluidity he didn’t know he still had, hissing sharply as he lashed out, hearing Remus yelp as his fangs just barely nicked skin, collapsing as the adrenaline fled as fast as it had come, gasping out breathy sobs. </p><p>It hurt. He hurt, he hurt all over, and his back where Remus had been pulling was on fire, he knew he was bleeding, and he couldn’t do anything about it, he couldn’t make it stop, he was so tired and sore that even breathing was a challenge, and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted it to all stop.</p><p>“Oh, Jan. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Jannie, I didn’t mean… I didn’t…” Remus sounded almost more in pain than he was. </p><p>“I know. You’re just… just trying to help.” He managed, getting a sharp inhale from Remus. He gasped as a moment later he felt a hand in his hair, gently, so gently, scratching against his scalp, sending pleasing tingles down his spine, enough that he could almost forget about the pain for a moment. </p><p>“go to sleep, Jan. You need to rest. I… I’ll figure this out. You’ll be ok. I’ll make sure you’re ok.” He didn’t think he could argue even if he wanted to. He was already slipping, everything in him was begging him to just close his eyes and never open them back up.<br/>…<br/>He was pulled back to the barest surface of awareness by low voices approaching the door.</p><p>“-need you to slow down.” He could almost place it. It was familiar, so familiar, and it sent a shiver up his spine. That voice couldn’t be here, couldn’t see him like this, couldn’t know! </p><p>His breath sped, and he forced his clumsy limbs to work, trying to find somewhere to go, somewhere to hide, yelping as he felt himself falling through the air for a few short seconds, landing hard on the ground, breath knocked out of him. </p><p>He heard the door open and he hissed, drawing back, snapping as he sensed movement near him, baring his fangs, trying to get a glimpse of anything, trying to see anything that could tell him where he was, who he was with, but there was nothing. He couldn’t see anything, he didn’t know where he was, he could be anywhere, they’d found out, they’d found out and they were locking him up, they were going to trap him somewhere, blind and weak and helpless forever, until he wasted away and faded into nothing, until everyone forgot about him, until he faded. </p><p>He didn’t want to fade. He didn’t want to die. He only ever wanted to help, he didn’t know why they couldn’t understand that he only ever wanted to help! That was his job, to protect Thomas from himself and others, he loved him as much as any of them did, as much as Patton did, and he didn’t want to die for his boy, but he would, he would fight to his last breath to defend himself and Thomas.</p><p>He heard a sharp inhale of breath, a soft curse. Had he been speaking out loud? He wasn’t sure.</p><p>“Janus. No one is going to harm you. Not intentionally, at least. Remus fetched me because you are injured and ill, and he is unable to provide sufficient assistance. I am here to help you, alright?” He still couldn’t place the voice, though he knew it was true, he was telling the truth. “May I come closer?” The voice was steady and even, and with little consideration he found himself nodding, letting himself relax back against the wall, though tension still thrummed through his veins, ready to lash out at any wrong move. </p><p>“I am going to touch your forehead now, to get an idea of your temperature.” He shivered slightly at the touch, the hand felt soothingly cool, and he almost whined as it pulled away. “you’re burning up.” The voice murmured, soft worry clear in his tone. </p><p>“Shed. Something… something’s wrong.” He rasped. </p><p>“I’m going to feel it, alright? I’m not going to pull or try and get it off. I just need to get an idea of how stuck it is.” He shivered again as a hand ran up his arm, considerate humming following the motion, and it suddenly clicked in his mind. </p><p>“Logan.” He managed. The hand paused, and he could picture Logan’s head tilt, the confusion on his face. </p><p>“Yes?” </p><p>“I wasn’t… wasn’t sure who it was.” </p><p>“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry, Janus, I wasn’t thinking, I hope I didn’t cause undue stress by not introducing myself.” He shook his head. </p><p>“is alright. Trussssted your voice.” Logan’s touch felt a little shaky as they trailed down his arms, gently taking his hands. </p><p>“Your shed is, for unknown reasons, causing your illness. Is that correct?” </p><p>“think ssso. Not… not usually this bad.” </p><p>“and you’re hurt. I think the bleeding has stopped, but it’s hard to tell. Can I try and clean the blood off?” He shivered, at the question, remembering the pain that came before. </p><p>“He’ll be gentle, Jannie. Not…” Remus trailed off, but the words hung between them. ‘not like me’ unspoken. He held out a hand, feeling Remus instantly take it, hold it gently, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. </p><p>“ok.”</p><p>“Alright. I’m going to wipe it away, then bandage it. We can work on your fever and shed after.” He felt a spike of fear, already wincing at the pinprick spikes of pain still needling his back, from where Remus had pulled at it. He didn’t realize he was shaking until Logan squeezed his hand gently, getting his attention once again. “I have some ideas on how to loosen it so it doesn’t hurt, alright? And if I do anything, anything at all that hurts you while tending to your injuries, you let me know however you’re able, and I’ll stop right away. I don’t want to hurt you, Janus. I don’t want you to be in pain. You are an important part of Thomas, and we need you to properly function. And I… I hate to see you hurting like this.” He’s surprised to feel nothing but truth in those words. “So, if I hurt you, snap at me, scratch at me, say something, whatever you are able to do. Don’t worry about harming me, I can handle it. Now. Let’s get you back on the bed. I’m going to lift you now.” He let out a small undignified squeak as Logan picked him up. He hadn’t known the logical side was even strong enough to pick him up. </p><p>“I’m going to start cleaning the blood now.” He shivered at the touch of a soft wash rag to his face, but the water was warm, and though it stung a bit, Logan was careful and slow. By the time he felt him bandaging the deep gash across his forehead, he was already drifting asleep.<br/>…<br/>A soft shake of his shoulder roused him from his half sleep. It was for the best. His dreams were full of accusing eyes glaring at him from the shadows, a pulsing fear that something was chasing him and he couldn’t escape, a dark, empty, silent, room, with no doors or windows, no exits at all. </p><p>“I’m sorry to wake you, but I didn’t want to alarm you.” Logan murmured softly, and he nodded. </p><p>“s okay. Wasn’t sleeping well, anyway.” He could feel Logan’s concern at that statement, but the logical side must have decided to skip that conversation for now. </p><p>“Alright. I’ve taken a look at your back. Remus said he’d caused some damage back there. It’s not as bad as it feels, I’m sure. I’d like to try and get it off. I assume when you fell, you were trying to take a bath?” Logan asked, and he nodded. “I think that’s a good idea. Perhaps with some assistance, this time, to prevent another fall. Then we can get all that shed off you.” </p><p>Now that he was becoming more aware, it all itched like the devil and seemed to weigh him down further, and he wanted nothing more than to tear and rip at his skin until it all went away, or he passed out and didn’t have to deal with it anymore. He would claw himself to shreds if he had to keep it on an hour longer. He’d do almost anything anyone suggested at this point, to get it off, and a soak sounded delightful.</p><p>“ok.” He replied quietly. “Remus?” He asked. He was sure he hadn’t left him alone, but he was being so quiet, such an unusual thing for him, and he wished he could see him, read his face and body language as clearly as an open book, but he was completely blinded. </p><p>“I’m here, Jannie. Was just getting your oils, so we can rub some in right away, once we get the old stuff off.” Came the instant reply, and he reached out weakly. Instantly, the bed dipped and he felt Remus lift his head, resting it in his lap, carding his hands through his hair. He let out a sigh, melting into the touch, shivering slightly. “Imma lift you up now, ok? I’m gonna keep hold of you, the whole time. Promise.” Remus murmured, scooping him up, walking as steadily and evenly as he could, into the bathroom. He snapped Janus into his boxers. </p><p>He could hear running water, Logan humming tunelessly as he waited for the water to warm up, before the tub started filling.</p><p>“That should suffice. You can lower him in now, Remus.” Logan said, and he nodded, at Remus’s hesitation. He gasped as the water hit his skin, feeling Remus flinch at the noise, quickly shaking his head. </p><p>“Sssory. It’s nice.” He mumbled, sinking into the water, glad that Remus was helping support his head, because he doubted he had the strength to hold himself up. As it was, he closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, the warm steam of the bath releasing some of the tightness from his chest, soothing the itch and ache that had taken over his entire body, easing the torn parts of his back, from Remus trying to remove the shed. <br/>…<br/>“Janus?” He hummed at Logan’s voice, realizing he’d been drifting in and out of sleep, a pleasant warmth surrounding him. “you’ve been in for about half an hour. The water is going to start getting cold. We should take you out ad refill it, if you would like to continue soaking, or we can try and remove the shed, if you feel comfortable.” He took a moment to think. The elastic feeling was stronger, his skin stretching, the top layer loose and shifting.</p><p>“yes. I think… you can start peeling it off. Feels… feels ready.” He mumbled, feeling Logan hesitate, before letting out a long breath. </p><p>“Alright. We’ll move back to the bedroom, then. And if anything causes discomfort, let me know immediately.” </p><p>“Oh, he will. Bit me earlier.” Remus commented, lifting him once more, snapping him dry. </p><p>“Deserved it.” He hissed back, getting a soft chuckle from Logan. </p><p>“I don’t doubt it.” They moved him back to the bed silently, settling him so he was laying down on his stomach, a pillow under his head, making sure he was comfortable, before telling him they were about to start.</p><p>He gasped sharply as he felt the skin peel off, his whole body clenching at the feel of air on his skin, actually his skin, the live, good, skin, and it felt so good, having that little strip off, he wanted it off, he needed it off! </p><p>“Alright, it’s alright Jannie, we’re getting it, we’re going to get it all off. Just stay still, please, just say still.” He hadn’t even realized he’d started wriggling, trying to shift, trying to rub it off, and he stilled with a whine. “I know. I know, Jan, just be patient, just a little longer.” </p><p>It seemed unbearable. Every second was a new kind of agony, having to stay still, having to wait as it slowly, so slowly, was pulled away, the constricting feel vanishing inch by inch. It ached, but finally, it was all off his back and arms. The only thing left was his face. </p><p>Remus helped prop him up, sitting him in his lap, while Logan gently dabbed at his face, the only part of him that hadn’t gotten soaked, until he was sure the skin was loose enough there, and he impatiently batted Logan’s hands away, scrubbing at his eyes, endlessly relieved as the old scales came away, and he blinked, clearing his vision. </p><p>Logan was kneeling before him on the bed, face focused and serious, softness around his eyes and a slight frown to his mouth. Looking up, he could see Remus looking down at him, a hesitant smile on his face, looking as if he’d never let go of him ever again. He found he didn’t mind that sentiment, as he couldn’t help the relief and latent fear from overwhelming him. </p><p>He burst into tears, burying his face against Remus’s chest, the sobs tearing at his still sore as hell throat, leading to a fit of coughing, but he couldn’t stop, both coughing and crying. </p><p>“I hate it. I hate it, I h-hate it, Remus, I c-can’t stand it, I can’t-“ </p><p>“I know, Jan, I know. I’m sorry. I should have checked on you sooner, I lost track of time. I… you scared me. You scared me so bad, I thought…” Remus sniffled, pressing his head against his hair. “you were so still. You were so still and pale and there was red, s-so much red and blood and I thought you were gone, I thought you were gone and it was my fault for not being here and I knew something was wrong, I knew it, but I didn’t check and you… you almost died. You could’ve been there for days, you coulda bled out and died from shock, you were barely breathing…” </p><p>“Didn’t want to worry you.” He mumbled, and Remus let out a harsh laugh. </p><p>“Of course, of course you didn’t, you never do.” </p><p>“M sorry.” He whispered, unable to keep his eyes open a second longer, as they slipped shut, the exhaustion weighing him back down, now that he had been freed, now that he didn’t feel like screaming and tearing himself apart, all he wanted to do was sleep. </p><p>“What matters is that you are safe now. Do you think you could stomach medication?” He shook his head at Logan’s question. “alright. Then I’d request you drink some water, or Gatorade, if you can manage that, to get some fluid and energy. I have a cooling cloth for your forehead, which should help with the fever. Hopefully your hypothesis is correct, and you were ill due to the shed. Now that it is over, your body should start lowering its temperature back to normal levels. That gash on your forehead may need stitches, but leaving it a day won’t hurt it any, and though you also hit the back of your head, it doesn’t appear to be anything other than bruised. Still, I’d like to check on both injuries tomorrow in case they need further treatment, and to monitor your condition. Is that acceptable?” He nodded, surprisingly content at the idea of letting Logan in. </p><p>“Don’t… don’t tell them.” He whispered, fear making his voice crack, as he forced his eyes open, forced himself to meet Logan’s steely blues. “Please, don’t…” He broke off with a harsh cough, Remus rubbing his back lightly to ease them. </p><p>“I won’t. I promise, Janus. I will not share anything you don’t wish me to. Though, if it helps, I do not believe any of the others would take advantage of your state in the way that you fear. Though they may not agree with you on many topics, both Patton and Roman are coming to accept that you are necessary.” He opened and closed his mouth a few times, before simply sighing, and leaning back into Remus’s chest. He could tell Logan believed what he was saying was true, but that didn’t make it so, and he didn’t trust Roman not to run him through the instant he showed his face. “I doubt I need to say this based on the fact that you practically kidnapped me from my room in your haste to get Janus help, but if anything happens or concerns you, do not hesitate to fetch me. If there is nothing else immediately required, I will leave you to get some rest.” </p><p>He simply hummed in agreement, letting Remus pull the covers up around them, sighing at the pleasant chill of the cloth against his forehead, Remus settling behind him, so he was laying atop his chest, his head against Remus’s heart, his hands gently running up and down his arms. </p><p>“I love you, Jannie. Please don’t do that again. Please don’t leave.” Then Remus kissed the top of his head, and he slipped into darkness. <br/>…<br/>The next time he woke, he felt better. </p><p>Not a hundred percent, not yet, but better. His chest wasn’t tight, his throat was barely sore, and though he still ached all over, it wasn’t pounding, stabbing pain anymore. His head felt clearer, as he blinked his eyes open, smiling at seeing he was curled up against Remus, who was looking down at him with a so soft expression, though his eyes were tight and worried. </p><p>“Hey, JanJan. Feeling better?” </p><p>“yeah.” He mumbled, trying to sit up, but his muscles twinged at the effort, and he hissed at the pain. Remus quickly shifted, helping to prop him upright against the pillows, slipping out from beside him. He almost whined at the loss of warmth, so delicious against his sensitive new skin, but Remus tucked the blankets back in around him, and that was almost as good. </p><p>“I’m gonna get Logan, ok? He told me to get him when you woke up. I’ll be right back.” He nodded, he didn’t want to be alone right now, not for a second, and Remus seemed to sense that. “I promise.” He swore, vanishing. He reappeared a second later with a sputtering Logan, who was holding a book open up to his face, wearing a unicorn onesie. He laughed despite himself at the befuddled look on the logical side’s face, who quickly cleared his throat and snapped back into his usual clothing, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. </p><p>“Neither of you saw that.” Logan accused defensively, hands clasped behind his back. Remus rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Whatever you say, Logi bear. Now do your doctor thing. Oh! Do you need a sexy nurse? I have a slutty costume that’d be perfect!” Logan ducked his head to hide his small smile, shaking his head. </p><p>“Thankfully, no. I merely wanted to make sure that you are feeling alright.” Logan’s focus turned back to him, and he let out a sigh. </p><p>“I’m fine.” He murmured, surprised as Remus shook his head, standing over him with a menacing frown. </p><p>“That’s what you said in the living room. And the next time I saw you, you’d nearly bled out in the bathroom. You’re not fine. Why won’t you tell me you’re not fine?” </p><p>“Because I can’t afford to be anything else!” He snapped, recoiling at his own words. “I can’t afford to show weakness. Because then the lions will pounce, and as much as I love you, Remus, you don’t stand a chance against all of them at once. So, I’m fine. I have to be fine.” He finished tiredly, running a hand through his tangled hair. </p><p>“Janus. I understand your fear. I know they… we… have enough collective power to harm you when you are at your weakest. I understand why you would believe them capable of it. But I will not allow that to happen. And I will make it very clear to them, that no aggression towards you on their part will be tolerated.” </p><p>“You can’t tell them, you can’t, I know you believe that, but-“ </p><p>“I won’t tell them anything of this. That does not mean I cannot start to shift their attitudes, because it is clear those are causing you an undue amount of distress. And that added stress is likely why this shed was so… difficult. How often, does this occur?” He hesitated, but finally answered, after a long moment of thought. </p><p>“Every four or so months. Sometimes it’s longer, sometimes it’s shorter. It’s… never good, but this was the worst, it’s ever been. Usually I can handle it, I can do it alone, I just… I just get it over with.” Logan’s brows rose, and he could see the gears turning there. </p><p>“I try. I try, but I’m too fast and too rough and when it comes to shedding, that isn’t a good thing. I just… I just hurt him more.” Remus added, rocking on his feet, Janus reaching out to take his hand, squeezing it softly, knowing Remus knew he was forgiving him. </p><p>“Well. That is unacceptable. I… would like to help, in the future, if I may. It isn’t… safe, not to mention highly unpleasant. I… would that be acceptable? I will help cover for you, as well, since you truly do not want them to know.” He didn’t know what to say. </p><p>“I… why? Why would you… why do you care?” Logan blinked, clearly not having anticipated that question. </p><p>“Because you’re my family, Janus, and you almost died, I held you and you were barely breathing and you could have died, and we don’t want that to happen ever, ever again, because we love you, you idiot!” Remus exclaimed, dropping onto the bed next to him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug, not that he minded. “We love you, Jannie. And you scared us.” He remembered Remus finding him, just barely. Remembered him crying, holding him, begging him to wake up, and he felt his heart break. “it’s ok to ask for help. Please, Jannie. Please just let us help.” He let out a small sob, pressing closer to Remus. </p><p>“I don’t want you to be in pain, Janus. I don’t want you to suffer. You deserve to feel safe, to be safe, and I want to help make that happen. I… I care, Janus. I know I’m not the best with emotions, my own or others’, but I know that I care about you, and I enjoy your company, when you actually do appear as yourself. I don’t want you to be ill and afraid.” His voice was soft, gentler than he’d ever heard from Logan, and he felt him sit on the edge of the bed, taking one of his hands, squeezing it gently. </p><p>“ok.” He whispered. </p><p>“Ok?” Logan asked. </p><p>“Y-yes. I… you can h-help. I’ll… next time I feel it starting I’ll tell you. I’ll let you stay, Remus, I won’t shut you out, and I’ll let you help me. I don’t… I don’t want to be alone.” He sobbed, feeling pathetic for crying like this, feeling like such a child, a stupid, squalling baby. </p><p>“shut up, Jannie. You aren’t pathetic or a baby or stupid. Everyone needs help. Everyone needs help when they’re sick.” Remus, picking up on his thoughts, no doubt, silencing them with his words. </p><p>“It’s alright, Janus. Get some more sleep. We’ll be right here when you wake up.” Logan murmured softly, hesitantly slipping an arm around his shoulders, sandwiching him in a half hug between himself and Remus. “you’ll be alright. The fever’s broken already, and we’ll get you something to eat when you feel up to it. For now, just get some rest. No one is going to hurt you.” </p><p>He found, coming from Logan, he believed it. He believed Logan meant it when he said he’d help, he’d make sure it was never this bad again. He’d… protect him.</p><p>He drifted off once more, feeling safe, secure, in the knowledge that he wasn’t alone. He had people who cared. They would make sure he was alright. No matter what.</p>
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